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- A. M. Willard
Follow Your Arrow Page 4
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“I do, but I’m shocked you’re here and not at the Inn visiting with Haddie,” he says as he moves his eyes toward the body occupying the corner.
“Didn’t know he was here.” I shrug.
“I see, and how is that going for you?”
“It’s not, and I refuse to acknowledge he’s here anymore. So let’s change the subject, shall we?”
“Understood,” Elliott says before he returns to stocking the shelf. I slide my phone out and scroll through my social media account. There’s a friend request from Justin. It’s not new as it arrived yesterday, and I’ve chosen to ignore it. As I start watching a video, I hear the stool beside me scrape against the floor.
“Mind if I join you?” the deep raspy voice booms in my ears.
“Yes, I do mind.”
“Too bad, I’m doing it anyway.”
I turn to look at him and the rest of the room. Noticing there’s not even a handful of people in here at this time.
“Can’t you pick a different seat; I mean, there’s plenty,” I suggest.
“Yes, but there’s no one I want to talk to other than you,” Justin states as he slides up onto the bar stool.
“Lucky me, I guess,” I respond.
“Yes, lucky you,” he states as I take another sip from my can. I’m pretty much the only one who drinks this, which is why Elliott keeps cold cans stocked in the beer fridge just for me.
“Justin, you ready for lunch yet?” Elliott asks, earning him a glare from me. It baffles me how all of my friends can just act as if Justin is supposed to be here. How it seems that only days have passed since they’ve seen him, forgetting the years that he’s been gone.
“Sure,” he says, bumping my elbow with his.
“Elliott, can I get mine to go, please? I just remembered that I have a shipment coming and need to sign for it.”
“Umm sure, okay. I’ll have them box it up for you.”
Justin leans over and says, “You know you don’t have to sign for it. Why can’t we just enjoy lunch together?”
“Because that’s what friends do, and you and I, Justin, are not friends. Please respect me on this,” I state, trying to be warm and stern at the same time.
“You know there was a time in the past that we would sit and laugh for hours at our day, plan out what we wanted to do in life. Remember all those napkins we’d keep with our plans written down on them?”
“That was a long time ago, Justin. Plans change, just like people. Sorry if I don’t want to recap the past with you. I’ve moved along from that stage in my life. I don’t have the luxury of just hanging out for the rest of the day. I, unlike you, have work to do.”
“I am working, but, just like you, I needed a break.”
“I just need you to leave me alone,” I say as I look forward and notice that Elliott has witnessed our whole exchange. I offer up a smile at my friend as he hands me my lunch.
“Thanks, Elliott. I’ll see ya later.”
“See ya later, Leslie.”
I take my stuff from Elliott and leave just as fast as I arrived.
On the walk back to the store, I slip into the Inn for a moment to catch up with Haddie. Quickly, I go over my encounter and wait for her response.
“Why don’t you just play nice for a few more weeks? You know he’ll be gone just as quick as he arrived. Nobody is saying that you have to rekindle any type of love for each other. But he does seem to want to know what’s been going on in your life.”
“That’s just it, Haddie. I don’t know how to be just friends with Justin. There’s so much water under our bridge that the past is always front and center.”
“Why does that have to be the only thing you focus on? Why can’t you start over with each other?”
“Have you ever watched one of his interviews? Have you even Googled him?”
“No, I try to not stalk my old classmates. Please, for the love of all things, tell me what Google says about him.”
“He’s different, it’s like he needs the light to always shine on him. The way he smiles when they take his picture, it’s not real. The way he holds the woman on his arm, it’s fake. Not to mention, he speaks of Kingston like it was this awful place to grow up. That if you step foot on the soil here, some great mystery will happen to you. I just… I don’t like either one of them.”
“Leslie, I say this with so much love, but you gotta stop with the Google. Justin is Justin. Yes time has gone by and we’ve not seen him, but there’s not a part of me that thinks he’s not the same person he once was. You know, just as well as I do, that we should never believe the things we see or hear on the Internet.”
“Well, he hasn’t proved to me that he is any different than the way I see him online.”
“Okay, so answer this question. If he was the same person who left all those years ago in every interview, would you treat him the way you are now, or would you welcome him back with open arms?”
“I don’t know, Haddie. So much time has passed that I honestly don’t know if I remember the old Justin. I’ve placed him in this hate file of my brain and locked him away.”
“There’s your answer. You don’t want to get to know him, the real Justin.”
“I knew the real Justin; this one is the fake imposter, and I don’t like him.”
“Seems to me you do, and that’s what you’re afraid of.” She stops and knocks on my chest where my heart is. “Hello, heart, are you in there? Oh no, is it waking up?”
“Funny, you know that. I have a heart; I just protect it.”
“You coming over for dinner tonight, or you going to starve again?”
“I’ll come to dinner, but it’s just you and me at the table this time. No funny business,” I say, pointing my finger at her. Still, I’ve not eaten my sandwich and with no time to start now, I decide that I need to get back to the store. When I walk out of the office where Haddie and I were, I notice Justin standing close by. I can’t help but wonder if he overheard us and what he thinks about my admission.
“Justin.” I nod in his direction as I pass. I don’t slow down to hear if he responds. Instead, I walk out and across the street to my safety where I can down my now cold sandwich.
The rest of the afternoon flies by, which I’m thankful for. There is no time to think or wallow as I have customers, phone calls, and more inventory to do. You’d think I’d have finished up while I was held up inside, but no… I got lost in the shelves and thought it would be great to rearrange them. Before I know it, the sun’s setting, and it’s time to flip the Closed sign around. Standing in the doorway, I spot him on the front porch of the Inn across the street. Our eyes meet, both of us held in place as we stare at each other. I’m not sure when he moved, but he did. Justin stands before me, shoulders squared, jaw rigid as if he has something to say but not sure how to speak. I understand this look, it’s the same way I feel each and every time we encounter each other.
Chapter Eight
Justin
I know I should walk away and not eavesdrop on their conversation, but I can’t help it. Right now, a part of my heart breaks. I never stopped to think why Leslie didn’t want to speak to me. I just chalked it up to her still being pissed. It didn’t dawn on me that she’s watched my career over the years, or how I’ve portrayed myself to the media. After watching her leave, once again, I escaped to my room and Googled myself. I wanted to see what it was that the rest of the world, or Leslie, sees in me. Hours later, I wasn’t thrilled with the results. I didn’t realize how I sounded when I spoke about my past or the place that I write about in my books. At this realization, I’m shocked anyone here still speaks to me. I’ve never put down Kingston Island, but I damn sure haven’t made it sound as amazing as it is. This town made me who I am. A part of me wonders what Nan would say if she was standing before me right now. Would she give me the third degree? Would she pop me upside the head while telling me that I’m a fool? Yes, she’d do all of the above.
Nan’s words co
me back to me, “Never forget where you come from, Justin. Always follow your arrow; it’ll lead you to the place that you’re meant to be.” She’s right, I lost sight of that arrow. Right now, it’s pointing me across the street. Am I meant to be with her? I don’t know, but somehow I need to show her that this person all over the Internet isn’t the real me. I’ll back off some. Learn to gain her respect once again like it was in the past. Show Leslie that I’m not a wolf sneaking around in the middle of the night. Maybe Christina was right by sending me here. Maybe, just maybe, I needed a wakeup call. It sure has helped me get my mojo back with writing.
In need of some fresh air, I walk out on the wrap-around porch and rest against the banister. The slight noise coming from across the street brings me out of my thoughts. I watch as Leslie closes the door and turns. The moment she spots me, I lock my eyes with her, pleading for forgiveness that I know she’s not ready to give me. I know I said I’d back off, but I can’t. My feet move on their own accord, not giving me the choice to change my mind. They lead me right to her.
“Leslie, I want to start over. Let’s erase the last few days and start with a clean slate.”
“I don’t know if we can do that, Justin.”
“We can, it’s simple.”
“How?”
“Like this… Leslie, it’s nice to see you again,” I say as I extend my hand out from my chest toward her.
“It’s nice to see you again too, Justin,” she voices, offering her hand to mine. In this moment, it feels that we might have a chance to start over. Erasing the past so we can create new memories.
“You heading over for dinner?”
“Yes, I was thinking about it.”
“Let me walk with you, I promise to not interrupt you and Haddie.”
“Okay, but I can walk myself. I mean… It’s right there…” She points behind me, causing a ripple of laughter to escape at her explanation of why I shouldn’t escort her across the street.
“Come on, you might get lost,” I say, grabbing her hand as I lead her down her steps and across the street. Once we enter, I spot Haddie right away and can’t help but laugh when her mouth opens and closes as she notices our hands linked with each others. Leslie drops her hand from mine quickly when she realizes that she’s still holding mine.
“It was good to see you again, Justin, and thanks for the… walk. Have a nice night.”
“Great to see you too,” I start to say, but before I can finish she’s gone.
I follow behind them but instead of going to their table, I find one near the window across the room from them. I position the chair just enough so I can keep a close eye on her. I can’t help the fact that I want to admire her beauty from afar. A plate is placed down, but I can’t look away from Leslie. I’m lost in the way she is laughing with Haddie. The way peace falls over her face at the simple conversation that they’re having. Is this the way they are each night? Are they laughing at something that happened today, or an old story they’re sharing from a long time ago? I can’t help but wonder what it is, or what it would be like to be sharing this moment with them. Breaking from my trance, I eat. The waiter fills my mug with coffee. As I stir in the sugar and cream, I notice the shadow walking across the street. I watch as Leslie enters through the front door and flicks off the porch light. Is that her way of saying she’s done for the night? That visitors, nor friends, are welcome? Yes, it is and for that, I’ll sit here a little longer and enjoy my coffee before retreating upstairs for the evening. The perfect scene to the chapter I was working on at Skipper’s hits, and it’s then that I know how the rest of the story will unfold. Once before, I thought I had the perfect ending to this series, now I know the one in my thoughts is the one.
Chapter Nine
Leslie
It’s been a week since I’ve seen Justin. A week since we reintroduced ourselves. I thought the day after that, that I’d crash into him more and more. According to Haddie, she’s only seen him come out of his room for breakfast, and Elliott has been delivering food to his room throughout the day and night. I can’t help but think back to an interview he did. Justin spoke about how when he’s in his zone, he’s in it. Breaking to only fuel his body with food, how he’ll only sleep for a few hours at a time. I can’t help but think this is what he’s been doing. That his story finally hit and he’s buried in the zone of his words. I also can’t help but wonder what it would be like to witness this. To sit across the room while he’s typing away. Does his face scrunch up when he’s stuck? Does he twist his nose like he does when he’s got something on his mind? Does he yell at the screen as the words don’t flow correctly? These thoughts feel intimate, and they’re the first real ones that I’ve had since he arrived.
I hear a silent, “Hello,” coming from the front of the store. Walking around the corner, I spot a women standing near the counter. She’s dressed in a solid black dress and heels that cause her to tower over me as I step closer.
“Hi, can I help you?”
“Yes, I was looking for Justin, is he here?”
“I’m sorry, Justin who?”
“Justin Albott. Christina, his agent, said he was staying here.”
“Sorry, we’ve not seen him in years. May I ask who you are?”
“That’s weird, they said the same at the Inn where she said he was staying. I’m Chloe, his friend from California.”
“Well, Chloe, it’s nice to meet you, but sorry to disappoint; he’s not here.” As the words slip from my mouth, I know I’m not lying because he really isn’t here in the store. In town, yes, he’s very much in this town. I can’t help but think that if Justin wanted to see her, he would've told her this is where he was going. I allow my eyes to roam over her figure. Taking in the way there’s not an ounce of fat or anything that’s real on her. I know I’m judging, but I can’t help it. I glance back down at my jeans and t-shirt. The way my hair is up in another messy bun compared to her straight locks that look like they were just touched up by a professional hair stylist. I can’t even remember the last time I spent more than five minutes on my hair, much less put a pair of heels on my feet. Is this Chloe someone from Justin’s past, or are they still close? Is she what he likes now? If this is the case, then I’m way out of my league here. There’s no way that the two of us would have a future. Maybe Haddie was right. Maybe he just wants to be friends.
“Sorry you came all the way out here for nothing, but we’ve not seen Justin in some time.” I offer a small smile to her, hoping she’ll just get back in her car and leave.
“Well, I guess this was for nothing. This place is cute; I can see why he always talked about it.”
“Excuse me?” I ask, trying to not scrunch up my face from confusion.
“Oh, you know, pillow talk. He’d talk about the bookstore. Justin always got a weird glow when he’d talk about the lady who owned this place, and I think it was her granddaughter. Anyway, it’s cute, and I can see the attraction he had to this place.” She shrugs as if this bit of information is nothing. Maybe it is to her, but to me, I’m in a state of shock. I never expected to hear this. Never thought he cared about any of this after he left. I might have been wrong. It still doesn’t change the fact that Justin and I have to remain in the friend zone. Neither of us have room for anything more.
I open my mouth to say something, but stop when I hear the store’s phone ring.
“Excuse me, I need to grab that.”
“Kingston Books & Things, how may I help you?”
“Leslie, it’s me. Please don’t tell her I’m here, make her go away.”
“Yes, sir, I don’t think we have that title in stock. I’d be happy to order a copy for you?”
“Leslie….” His voice is strained on the other end. I can hear the restlessness booming through the line. I could play with him, but I’m not in desperation of pissing him off today.
“Yes, I understand. Well, I have your number so once it arrives I’ll give you a call. Will that work for you?”r />
“Yes, and thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I say with a smile that I hope he can feel through the words.
“I need a break tonight, what about I come over and we can cook?”
“I’ll give you a call, thank you,” I say before hanging up the phone. Placing my palms down on the counter, I square my shoulders and look Chloe in the face.
“Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“No, that will be all.”
“Are you heading back home, or staying for a few days,” I ask and watch her turn to look out the front windows.
“Nah, I think I’m going back. This place is too… small and basic for me.”
“Safe travels then,” I respond as I walk around the counter and head toward the door to help her move a little faster. I’m not sure about the history she holds with Justin, and the longer she stands here in my store, the more my mind races. Justin sure doesn’t want to see her, which means she’s not welcome here either.
“Have a great day,” I say with the biggest smile I can offer her.
“Thanks.” She returns the smile, but I can tell it’s not genuine. I’m not even sure her face could offer a real smile. I don’t want to accuse but I’m sure the amount of Botox she has, is keeping anything from moving. I lean into the doorframe, watching as she takes one step at a time in her heels. No, I’m not asking for her to fall face down them. That would only keep her longer than she’s needed. Movement in the window across the street catches my eyes. I glance up into the top window and notice it’s Justin’s profile glaring down at us. With my arms wrapped around my waist, I flip one hand out in a small wave gesture. Just enough for him to see, and nobody else. I know he sees it. Why? Because he’s not watching Chloe leave, his eyes are focused on me. As she slides into the back of the car parked out front, I push off the door and turn to go back inside. Once the door closes behind me, I lean my back against it, letting the air I was holding in my lungs release.