Tic Tac Love Page 6

  Annabelle

  Sitting in the back of the taxi, my eyes slide shut as I process the evening and why Paxton’s body is rigid and stiff. I keep going over the events of the evening, trying to handle the shift in his demeanor. It all changed the moment Jace and his friends joined us. That’s when it dawns on me.

  “You were jealous, weren’t you?”

  “Annabelle, we will talk about this upstairs.” His voice is stern as he doesn’t even look at me before opening the door and helping me out. Standing on the sidewalk I glance up at him, noticing how his jaw is rigid, his eyes are wide. Blowing him off, I storm past him and through the lobby toward the bank of elevators. As I wait for the doors to open, my toe taps against the marble tile as it seems to take forever for them to open. He might think we’ll talk about this once inside the apartment, but all I plan to do is go to bed. Paxton leaves tomorrow, and that’s when I’ll deal with the fact that I know he was jealous tonight. We enter, and I quickly press the button to my floor before leaning back with my arms crossed over my chest.

  “Are you pouting, Belle?” he asks as he mirrors my stance.

  Ignoring him, I glance up at the ceiling praying that tonight will end soon.

  “This is different; I don’t think I’ve seen you pout since I left college.”

  “You don’t know me very well then,” I snarl back.

  “Oh, I do know you very well, and I’ve already told you that we would talk about this behind closed doors. You have a minute to pull it together.”

  I let out a long, heavy sigh as I can’t believe our weekend has been this screwed up. I can’t exit the elevator fast enough when the doors slide open. I leave Paxton behind as I march down the hallway to my door. Quickly, I open and continue in and through the kitchen toward my room.

  “Belle,” he says softly, causing me to stop in my tracks. It’s not the fact that he called me and I’m giving in. It’s the way my name fell from his lips. It’s never in all the years sounded so erotic from anyone’s voice. I can hear him stepping closer, taking his time to reach me as I hold my breath.

  Paxton places his hands on either side of my hips to steady me, causing me to slide my eyes closed in anticipation of his next move. My breath hitches as his lips touch my skin. He starts slowly sliding his mouth up my neck, nibbling every few moments. Gently, he moves his hands up my sides to my shoulders, quickly turning me around to face him.

  “Yes, Belle. I was very jealous tonight.”

  “Why?” is the only thing that comes to mind.

  “Because I’ve wanted to taste your lips and feel your body against mine again since that night in college.”

  “Paxton, this isn’t a good idea,” I say, but as I hear the words coming from my throat, they don’t sound very convincing.

  “You’re wrong, you’re the only good thing I have in my life,” he says before claiming my mouth to stop me from speaking.

  I can’t think.

  I can’t pull away.

  Not tonight and maybe never.

  I give in to his temptation. Allowing my hands to reach up and grab his neck, pulling him closer to me. We stand here in my hallway for what seems like forever, devouring each other with our mouths. Pouring out the emotions that have been built up for years. Expressing the way we feel for the other in this current state. Slowly, he walks us backward without breaking our connection. When my knees hit the edge of the mattress, Paxton breaks away. Looking down at me, his eyes ask for permission to continue. Quickly, I pull my top off and toss it to the floor, breathing in the scent of him. The heady aroma of tequila, the bitter taste of the limes we sucked, of sweat, man, and sex. Paxton follows my lead as he crumbles his shirt down to the carpet. My chest rises with anticipation of where we go from here. My head’s still telling me this isn’t a good idea. That neither of us truly want to venture down this path. Crossing the line of friendship. Yes, it might have been done before, but now, we’re older, wiser, and this could get sticky.

  Slowly, Paxton reaches for my pants. Undoing them while never breaking our stare. I’m not even sure when the last time I blinked was. I’m so lost in his touch that every cell in my body is on high alert.

  “Paxton, I need you to pick up the pace,” I let out right before Paxton tips me back to the bed. His body rests on top of mine as his mouth trails down my neck, moving down the valley between my breasts. A moan slips from my lips as he begins to knead my breasts, continuing to assault the rest of me with his mouth. When he shifts, I move around him in order to slowly slide my hand into his boxer briefs. With his cock in my hand, I try to remember if it was always this way. Sucking in a breath as it hardens more, I look up and into his eyes. Pleading with him silently to give me what I want, what we both desire more than anything else.

  Each other.

  A ride of ecstasy.

  A release from the pent-up sexual desire that we’ve held over the years for each other.

  “Grab the headboard,” he whispers.

  “Now? What?”

  “Right now, Belle. Don’t make me ask again.”

  I raise up, moving up closer to the top of the bed where I can reach the headboard. Paxton smiles down at me, positioning himself over me, never breaking our stare.

  Slowly he enters me, inch after inch filling my core.

  “Ahhh, Paxton…” I cry out as I welcome the sensation.

  “You okay, Belle?”

  “Yes, don’t stop,” I mutter as I try to make out my own words.

  “Wrap your legs around me,” he commands, and I do as Paxton instructs.

  Sucking my nipple into his mouth, I groan only to fuel his thrusts even more. The more vocal I become, the more he gives me. Moving back and forth locked in each other’s arms, there’s no other place that I want to be. He’s torturing me with his kiss as we both build up to our releases.

  Paxton slows, letting go of my hips from his grip, and I watch as his chest rises and deflates, trying to catch his breath.

  “You’re perfect, Belle, and I want this to be forever. I’m leaving, but I’ll be home soon,” is the last thing I remember him saying before I fall asleep curled up in his arms.

  Chapter Ten

  Paxton

  Many Years Ago…

  I’ve been a nervous wreck this week. Afraid to speak with Belle about one of the biggest decisions we both could make. I broke the news to her a few weeks ago about a job offer that I plan to take. It’s not just any job—it’s the job of a lifetime. One that might never come back around. The only problem is, I’m still a virgin and so is she. Who wants to start their lifetime career a virgin? Not me, and the only person that I want is Belle. I almost gave in last year with a girl I was dating, but it didn’t feel right. I know Belle hasn’t as she’s been very honest and upfront about it with me. Last year when I was dating Alissa, Belle had asked me while we were studying if I’d gone all the way. She was curious as she was thinking of having sex with Brian, her then-boyfriend. They’d been dating for two months and according to Belle, he was pushing her to go all the way. At first, I was embarrassed to admit that I hadn’t. I knew she thought I did with Emily, and I let her believe what she was going to think. At that point, I didn’t feel the need to change her mind.

  Before walking into the café where I told her to meet me, I take a deep breath and pray that I’m not about to make a fool out of myself. Spotting her right away, she waves at me to get my attention. It never fails to amuse me that she still thinks that I wouldn’t be able to find her in a crowded room. Smiling, I head toward her and take the seat across from her in the booth.

  “Hi,” she says with a smile.

  “Hi,” I return with a matching smile.

  “You know; I’m going to miss our coffee dates late in the evenings.”

  “Me too, Belle. Me too.”

  “Hungry, or are we going to share a muffin and get some coffee?”

  “Muffin and coffee. I’ll go grab it,” I say, sliding out before she can protest. />
  Standing in line, I can’t help but glance back over at her. She’s oblivious to how perfect she is. How she can walk into a room and light it up from just being there. How when she twirls the fallen pieces of hair around her face is a complete sign of her honesty. Not to mention when she’s overly excited about something, her right eye twitches.

  With our order in my hands, I join her and take a deep breath to gain the courage for my next sentence. If I don’t just blurt this out, it’ll never happen.

  “Belle, I think we should have sex before I leave. You know, to give each other that part of ourselves so we’re ready for the next person.”

  “Like right now? Or what do you mean? I’m confused, Pax.”

  “Not right now in the middle of the café. I mean, I don’t know… I was just thinking out loud,” I say as I chicken out and take a sip of my drink.

  “No, you can’t just say that and not explain to me.”

  “Just forget it, Belle. It was silly.”

  “No, it wasn’t, and I say yes.”

  “You say yes to what?”

  She leans over the table, glancing around the room to make sure no one is listening. “I want you to be my first. I trust you, and I know I won’t get something down there,” she says as she points down to her legs. I can’t help but laugh.

  “I’m glad that I can be the disease-free choice for you.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that. But yes, don’t you feel better knowing that I won’t give you something?”

  “I guess you’re right.”

  “I am,” she says, shrugging before sipping her coffee.

  Belle places her mug down in front of her, looks up at me, and asks, “We doing this tonight?”

  I can’t help but let out the loudest laugh that has ever escaped from me, but the look on her face is priceless. “No, I was thinking we could go out to dinner and see how the night goes tomorrow.”

  “Okay, cool, that works.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Paxton

  Today…

  Being with Belle last night felt like being home. There have been several women since the last time we slept together, as I know she’s had boyfriends since. But something transpired between us last night. A sense of security, maybe—I don’t know. I hate that I had to leave her sleeping this morning as I left to head to the airport. While sitting here waiting for my flight, she’s the only thing I picture in my head. The way her blonde hair was spread over her pillow as she didn’t move when I slipped out from under her arm. The way her face was angelic. Not to mention, the way her body looked naked and ready for me to kiss every inch of it again. I slide out my laptop, opening my email to take another leap in my life.

  * * *

  SUBJECT: PAXTON WEST Resignation Letter

  Mr. Bradford,

  It’s with great regret that I type this letter today. First, I’d like to thank you for the lifetime of memories that I’ve been able to make over my career. Second, I’ve come to realize over the last few months that there’s more to life than what I’m doing. I’d like to request a transfer to the New York office where I can still be a part of your team. If travel is required, I’d like it to be a minimum of days instead of weeks and months at a time. As I’ve enjoyed the many trips, I’m reaching the age where I’m ready to settle down and grow roots as they say. I know in the past we’ve had this conversation as you’ve become one of my closest friends rather than just my boss.

  I’m at the airport now ready for my next assignment and will fulfill the others that are needed while you find a replacement for me. The sooner the better, as I don’t want to miss an opportunity that I have at home.

  This isn’t formal as that’s not my style. I’ll call when I land.

  Sincerely,

  Paxton West

  * * *

  Instead of pulling up the information for our location, I open another tab to email Belle. I hate that I had to leave her this morning without any actual words. I felt like I was a one-night stand tiptoeing out in the middle of the night. She knows that I had to leave, and she also knows that I’ll call soon. When I glance down at my watch, it’s only eight, and if I know Belle, she’s still asleep since we didn’t fall asleep until well after five this morning. It seems when you crave something as much as the two of us have been, you go more than just one round of mad crazy sex.

  * * *

  SUBJECT: Last Night

  My Belle,

  What do I say to you in an email? This has never been a problem before as I’ve always been able to find the words to express my life to you in this form. This has been our way of communication for years, so I should be good at this. I need to say, first and foremost, that last night was one of the best nights of my life since college. Nothing in between that until now matters. I have news for you, but rather share it when I have all the information and in person or a call. We’ll see how long I can keep it from you. No, you can’t pout as I’m not emailing this. Just know that what I said last night, I meant it. I want to see where the two of us go from here. I want to try to have a relationship with you. It scares the hell out of me as I don’t know how to do that, but with you by my side, I believe this could work.

  I’m boarding in about twenty minutes, but as soon as I can I’ll call to check in. Get some rest and have a great week. Oh, and no, I don’t know how long I’ll be gone either. You know the drill.

  Love always,

  X

  Chapter Twelve

  Annabelle

  My arms rise above my head as I stretch my body under the blankets. I turn my head, viewing the empty side of the bed, wishing Paxton was still next to me instead of on an airplane. I barely registered him leaving this morning, can’t help the empty feeling that I have in my chest. Last night was better than I could have ever imagined. It wasn’t the fumbling of two inexperienced young adults. No, this was a powerful triumph for us knowing what two grown adults want. There’s only one problem with last night. I have no idea what the hell it meant. Was it just a way for Paxton to blow off steam? A way to release the build-up that he’s had over the months? Or was this the start of something neither of us knows about? In all the years of our friendship, I’ve never experienced the jealous Paxton like last night. If he ever was in the past, he hid it like a champion. Which when I think back over the years, I’m a pro at hiding my feelings for him just the same. Rolling over, I grab my phone, opening up my text to see if Paxton messaged. With no notifications, I tap my email and prepare for strings of messages from work. I notice I have some in my personal and open them to read. Immediately, I spot one from Paxton. With butterflies in the pit of my stomach, I begin to read. My eyes linger on his words, “I want to see where the two of us go from here. I want to try to have a relationship with you. It scares the hell out of me as I don’t know how to do that, but with you by my side, I believe this could work.”

  Is Paxton being for real or riding the high still from last night? Never in all the years has he mentioned wanting to settle down with anymore. I know people can change, but can Paxton honestly be happy with just one person? He travels the world, gone for months at a time. That’s not the kind of relationship I want. I don’t want to sit at home waiting for him to return. Swallowing my pride, I slide out of bed and head to the shower. Today I need to clear my head and figure out what’s going on. Which won’t work because he’s in the air and I’m here in New York like always. I should respond to his email, but right now I don’t have the proper words for this. Once I figure out what I want to say, I’ll respond, but until then it’s life like always.

  Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, I head out to the café down the street for a small breakfast and coffee. The longer I stay in my apartment, the more I miss Paxton. His scent still lingers in my bedroom, only causing me to miss him even more. Once inside the café, I order a muffin and coffee before sitting by the window to do a little people watching. It’s warmer today than it’s been all week, which also means the streets a
re filling up with people. Families strolling along with their kids and significant others. Single men and women moving about as they go on with their daily routine. Sipping my coffee, I slide out my phone and text Brooke. There’s no way I can deal with Miranda with this conversation. Brooke’s the down-to-earth type, the one who will tell me like it is versus Miranda who will sugarcoat life.

  Me: Morning!

  I send and wait for her response.

  Brooke: Morning, or is it afternoon?

  Me: Depends on how long you’ve been up? It’s a toss-up actually.

  Brooke: What are you doing?

  Me: Drinking coffee at the café.

  Brooke: Paxton already leave? He never said what time he had to fly out.

  Me: Yep, he’s gone. Left before I got up.

  Brooke: He was a little weird last night, just saying.

  Me: Tell me about it. It got weirder when we got home.

  Brooke: What happened?

  Me: Are you awake enough for this conversation?

  Brooke: I am.

  Me: We slept together!

  Brooke: What do you mean by “slept together”? Like, fell asleep in the same bed, which isn’t surprising. Or are you saying “he stuck his thing in you” slept together?

  Me: Really! Can you focus… I mean the second one.

  Brooke: Well… I’m not surprised since there was so much tension last night between you guys. Like a TON of it. How was it?

  Me: Not telling you how it was… AMAZING! But now he sent an email, and I’m not sure what he means.

  Brooke: I’ll see you in twenty minutes or less. STAY PUT. I need COFFEE.

  I don’t respond. If I know Brooke, and I know her pretty dang well, she’s halfway out the door and jogging toward me now. Brooke lives about ten minutes from my apartment. Giving twenty minutes is longer than I’d expect her to take. I watch the time, planning out the perfect arrival of her coffee and her presence. Just as she’s bouncing through the door, the barista places her mug down on the table.